State of Colorado Discovers Active Volcano Underneath Red Rocks Amphitheatre

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A troubling discovery was made Friday morning in Morrison, Colorado. The State has announced that after diligent tectonic tests, there is an active volcano that is emerging directly underneath Red Rocks Amphitheatre. In light of this discovery, Red Rocks has canceled all remaining shows, regretfully.

The lead volcano expert in Colorado, Blaine Cinnabar, says that the composite volcano that is underneath the beloved concert venue, could blow at any moment. “As a big Phish fan, I was really hoping to postpone this announcement until after Trey plays on May 22,” Cinnabar said. “But, as always, safety comes first.”

Those who want refunds for their shows can begin the process at this link here.

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